News Reports from Station KTRED

"The Voice of Ttreadleonia"

"Providing Imagination TV to All the land! We provide the wordsÖ You provide the pictures!"

December 9, 1998

Welcome to the Wednesday Night 9:00 News... From KTRED and your Treadleonian News Team!

Featuring: Morris Best... Anchor and requisite white haired WASP father figure;

Carmelita Nacional... Roving Reporter and VMF (Visible Minority Female);

Andy "Red" Grange... Sports Reporter and VMM (Visible Minority Male);

and including special reports on agriculture from The Ohio Farmer,

weather from "Weathers" White; and shallow in-depth interviews by Barbara Walters Mason.

( Check out the names folks... they're all in the book!)

Good evening, folks. Morris Best here, with the 9 o'clock news.

There were big doings at the castle today, as Benevolent Despot Captain Dick Wightman shook up his staff of advisors. We have confirmed reports that both his Model 201 +54 and the recent foreign visitor Prince Ubi 191U proved unable to avoid skipping stitches while doing the sashing on the Sunbonnet Sue project. The Captain turned the responsibility over to his old political crony... ooops, friend... Count von Pfaffenstein, who handled the job with no trouble at all, even when the first sets of cross-over sashing came into play. "He's heavy as H__ and wears out your leg muscles treadling, but he never fails!" said His Despotship.

Prince Ubi has been assigned piecing duty and moved to the Alcove, while the Singer School Table was moved to the Castle Dungeon and, in a startling development, Count von Pfaffenstein, from an industrial background, has been moved into the Royal Sewing Chamber's principal position, the first industrial machine to hold such a postion.

Other issues have been raised as a result of today's events. Questions are being asked as to why the Captain is so intense about the quilt for the attractive young Sunbonnet Sue, why he has been seen frequently down on the peninsula by The Needle, where her rather remote home is, and what kind of a relationship they had while Sue was an intern at the Castle. All of these questions were posed to the Captain earlier today. His response was:

"Hey, Red, how about them Treadlonia Tigers?! Who would have thought they'd still be in contention this late in the season?"

We hope to arrange for a hard hitting in-depth interview by Barbara Walters Mason at a later date. You all know Barbara... she will go after the facts and ask the tough questions, as long as they don't upset our advertisers or make it difficult for us to get future guests.

That's all for tonight from your TNT News!

Morris Best, signing off for KTRED, The Voice of Treadleonia.

December 23, 1998

KTRED, The Voice of Treadleonia, interrupts our regular programming to bring you this late breaking news from Morris Best and the Treadleonian News Team...

"Good evening... this is Morris Best, your kindly, white-haired WASP news team father figure. We hear there is some kind of announcement about to be made at the Castle. Let's go direct to Carmelita, our token minority female reporter, on location. Carmelita, what's happening up there?"

"Morris, there was a lot of activity in the Royal Sewing Chamber today. Early rumors had it that the major work on the Sunbonnet Sue Project might reach completion today. Just moments ago, that was confirmed, when Benevolent Despot Captain Dick issued a statement that the final border had been attached.

"According to Captain Dick's statement: "This project, made possible through the efforts and support of the Treadleonian people, and destined for showing at their local quilt shows, is now virtually completed. Edge tape needs to be made and applied, but we expect that to be accomplished over the next couple of days. As is often the case with government projects, this one ran over the original time estimates, but I am confidant that it is a good job, and will serve our purposes well, advertising the joys and accomplishments of Treadleonia to strangers and perhaps attracting additional tourists and even settlers.'"

"Was there anything else of importance in the statement, Carmelita?"

"Yes, Morris, there were two other items. The Captain indicated that as soon as possible, quality photos would be taken and posted on the Sunbonnet Sue Project pages of the web site, and also said that complete sets of these photos would be sent to each person who submitted a block for the project.
That was about it." (Note: these photos did not come outÖ)

"Thank you, Carmelita. And now, before we return to regular programming, let's get a check on the weather from our intrepid weatherman, "Weathers White". Weathers, what's it looking like out there?"

"Well, Morris, it's still pretty cold most places... 'Course, there's some where it's warm. That's about what it's like out here."

"Thanks, Weathers. We now return you to your regular programming. This is Morris Best, for KTRED and the Treadleonian News Team."